Bondage

Who makes what in this range

In bondage the brand usually tells you two things: the look, and how much the piece will really hold. KINK supplies close to half of what you see here, mostly adjustable cuffs and collars in leather or vegan leather, with solid buckles and D-rings for clipping pieces together. DARKNESS has a darker, more classic fetish style. CalExotics and Pipedream lean towards straightforward restraints that are quick to put on, which is handy when you're still working out what you like.

The softer end looks quite different. Coquette Chic Desire dresses restraints like lingerie, with lace and fur lining, and Bijoux Indiscrets makes the Frou Frou organza handcuffs and the Désir Métallique cuffs in black or golden metal mesh. Honestly, those pass for jewellery. Fetish Submissive works largely in vegan leather, and OHMAMA adds fetish accessories in its own style. At the serious end, Metal Hard makes steel pieces such as the Structure anal restriction, best kept for people who already know their limits. The Diablo Picante sleep masks, on the other hand, are there to make you laugh.

Leather, vegan, lace or steel

Real leather softens and moulds to the wrist with use. Don't soak it; wipe it down and give it leather conditioner now and then. Vegan leather is lighter, needs no conditioning and cleans with a damp cloth and mild soap, which makes it easier to keep hygienic between partners.

Lace, organza and fur-lined cuffs feel lovely on the skin, but they are about the idea of being held rather than real security. Metal is the opposite. It holds firmly and feels cold at first, and narrow edges press on the wrist bones if someone pulls, so keep the key where you can find it in seconds. With gags, silicone balls are non-porous and simple to wash, and soft plastic parts sold in the EU must keep four phthalate plasticisers below 0.1 % (REACH 2018/2005).

A sensible first setup

Most people looking for a bondage kit want to try a bit of everything before buying pieces separately. Bondage sets usually pair cuffs with a blindfold, sometimes a tickler too. If cuffs turn out to be your thing, bed restraints with straps running under the mattress are the natural next step and work on any bed. Bondage tape is another easy start, since it clings only to itself and leaves nothing behind on skin or hair. For a look that works under clothes or on its own, browse bondage harnesses in men's and women's cuts, and collars to match your cuffs.

• Two fingers should slide between cuff and skin. Tingling, numbness or cold hands mean loosen straight away.
• Keep safety scissors within reach, especially with rope or tape.
• Agree a safe word beforehand, plus a hand signal for when a gag is in. As the Burnett Foundation puts it, "ouch" doesn't count.
• Never leave someone who is tied up alone in the room.